On Web Culture

Dear Friend,

The ballot has come in and I’m sorry, your number did not come up. That means you have not won, do not try again, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Recent surveys have suggested customers feel a sense of detachment from the Company when receiving these letters and we have tried to remedy this by supplying the popular phrase: Life’s A Bitch Ain’t It. We hope this improves your state of being and provides some positive emotions at this time.

That said, we ask you refrain from entering again and to ensure this have issued a standard 30-day cease and desist against your estate. Surveys indicate you should refer to the popular phrase Life’s A Bitch Ain’t It and if this does not improve your view of the Company we recommend the following popular phrase: Build A Bridge And Get Over It.

A number of customers have responded well to this phrase.

Please realise the Company is not a relational entity per say and as such is unable to respond to your direct correspondence outside of normal channels on issues within classes 4a to 4g. In this circumstance your number has not come up and as such your criteria is applicable. Your circumstance is categorised:

Class 4b

There are a number of reasons you have not been successful in this instance:
– the numbers were not good
– you were unavailable at our time of calling
– we require a personal connection as filed through Forms 19, 20 and 27. This process may have been incomplete (Form 20 can be filed later)
– anathema

The Company has stated customers outside of the accepted number range must comply with the terms accepted at the beginning of your trial period. Please note at this time refunds are not available.

Thank you for your business.

wishing won’t make it so